Friday Fun 22

There was nothing funny about Friday 13th November.

Given that we just can't get our heads around why anyone would do this, I think John Oliver's reaction on HBO is as good as any.

"If you are in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck."




Vive la France

Friday Fun 21

Have I ever mentioned that I don't like lieder? I think I was over-exposed to ‘Vilja’ as a child and someone standing up to sing with a piano accompaniment now has me leaping for the off button before they've got the first note out (OK, Kit and the Widow excepted). I was genuinely heartbroken when Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau died as I knew it would launch a year-long lieder-fest on Radio 3. But, whether sung in English or German, they're still dire Victorian parlour songs.

I'm a placid soul (no giggling at the back!) and there are few things that have me leaping for the radio with a mallet, but the sentence that begins, "...and now on Radio 3 it's Private Passi..." rarely manages to make it to a full stop and similarly with the Navy Lark on Radio 4 Extra and the Swingle Singers anywhere.

However, with the growth of nostalgia my other bête noir occasionally pops up and brings with it a spasm of radio-smashing rage verging almost on the murderous. Yes, it is the existential horror that was the theme tune to Sing Something Simple. And I'm not alone, a whole generation of adults around my age confess to being deeply scarred by the experience of being forced to listen to it as a child - there's probably a support group out there somewhere. One blogger said, "...the most depressing radio show was, undoubtably, “Sing Something Simple“, which used to come on…Radio 2: if you’ve never heard it, consider yourself lucky. It involved a choir singing depressing songs...accompanied by Jack Emblow’s accordion. Someone said: “hearing ‘Sing Something Simple’ was the first time I realised that – one day – I would die”." Another reviewer said, "Christ it was depressing - but in a comforting way. Like shingles, or Crohn's disease."

Anyway, I won't subject you to any of those, instead you have Fascinating Aida's take on lieder but it's much funnier than the real thing.

Friday fun 20

I've been meaning to post this video made by some of the students at work for ages and it's possible that some of you may have seen Dr Kei Takashina demonstrating this on QI a while ago.

It’s called the Leidenfrost effect and it’s where a liquid drops onto a plate that is much hotter than the liquid’s boiling point. This creates a vapour layer underneath the liquid which stops it from boiling away.

Physics students under Dr Takashina created a Leidenfrost Maze to show school children the effect in action and have made this totally entrancing film following a droplet around the maze.

I think there’s music with it, but to be honest I think it’s better watched in silence.

Friday Fun 19

We're off to Athens soon, so I thought this might help with my fear of flying, or pehaps not... I think Dean Martin corpsing is almost the funniest thing.

Friday fun 17

Posting the Chris Rock video a few weeks ago reminded me of one of Jon's favourite lines, "They brag about stuff a normal man just does. They'll say something like, 'Yeah, well, I take care of my kids.' You're supposed to, you dumb motherf*cker. 'I ain't never been to jail.' Whaddya want? A cookie? You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherf*cker!".

Happy Christmas! Enjoy!

Friday Fun 16

OK, so we already know who won, but this is very funny anyway. Also worth watching just for the truly terrifying photo of Mitt Romney's extended family - all those kids wearing the same clothes reminds me of a sci-fi/horror story, I'm thinking 'Midwich Cuckoos' or 'Stepford Wives'.

Friday Fun 15

We've not had one of these for a while, so here's the Bard of Stanford in the Vale to make you smile...

Friday Fun 14

This is what I used to watch 'The Mary Whitehouse Experience' for, Rob Newman as "that nice chinese gentleman" Jarvis.



I really couldn't choose between these clips , so here he is coming over all Prince Charles; oh no, that would be awful...

Friday fun 13

Ah, the bard of Salford in a Peel Session from 1978 (really, 1978, where does the time go?). The lyrics are below for the more poetically inclined...



make a date with the brassy brides of britain
the altogether ruder readers' wives
who put down their housework and their knitting
at the doorway to our dismal daily lives

the fablon top scenarios of passion
nipples peep through holes in leatherette
they seem to be saying in their fashion
'I'm freezing charlie - haven't ya finished yet?'

in latex pyjamas with bananas going ape
their identities are cunningly disguised
by a six-inch strip of insulation tape
strategically stuck across their eyes

cold flesh the colour of potatoes
in an instamatic living room of sin
all the required apparatus
too bad they couldn't het 'er head in

wives from inverness to inner london
prettiness and pimples co-exist
pictorially wife-swapping with someone
who's happily married to his wrist

LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE

Friday Fun 12

We've had a little run of seeing comedians recently: Dr Phil Hammond a couple of weeks ago and, on Sunday, we went to see Punt and Dennis in Bath. They were as fabbie as ever and I was ever so chuffed when they did one of my favourite routines in the 2nd half although, as it's nearly 25 years old, I'm not sure it counts as 'topical' comedy!

And this is it...one of their early things (from when they were on Jasper Carrott's show in the mid-'80s) which we still giggle about at home when I'm using wine in cooking. Chefs always say that, if you're using wine in food, you should use the wine you're going to serve with it. Our reaction - Bollocks! If anyone thinks I'm putting six+ quid's worth of wine into a scalding hot frying pan they're seriously unhinged. Jon doesn't approve of me using any alcohol in cooking, not on religious or ethical grounds, it's just less for him to drink; so his reaction is always the same as Hugh Dennis's wine correspondent, "You poured it on a fissshhh? You POURED it on a FISSSSHHHH?! I'm gonna come round there and suck your fisssshhhh."



I'll be as sick as a dog in the morning...

Friday Fun 11

A celebration of tea, what could be better?

Friday Fun 10

Oh dear God this is funny...

Friday Fun 9

Jasper Carrot's account of his first time in Hong Kong, eating at an 'authentic' Chinese restaurant. I had to be helped back onto the sofa when I first heard this on TV all those years ago and I still cry with laughter.

Friday Fun 8

'Lollipop'. We've had a child called Lollipop join the organisation I work for. No, seriously, we have. Put me in mind of this from Jasper Carrot.

Friday Fun 7

A colleague sent me this 'cos she said it reminded her of Jon! She's only met him once, so the impression he made must have been startling!

We can see where she's coming from, but this blog cannot condone the wearing of facial hair.

There are loads more on YouTube by the Gentleman Rhymer, the country's leading exponent of 'Chap-Hop', including him doing 'All Hail the Chap' at the Lass o'Gowrie*, Manchester (ah, brings back memories) - enjoy...



Oh, and, don't forget that it's the 4th Chap Olympiad this weekend. We won't be there 'cos we're hosting Mr Oscar, but it should be great fun.

* The book I'm reading at the moment, Andrew Davies' The Gangs of Manchester, gives this description of the Lass in the 1870s, "'No pen could describe' the fearful state of the hovels of Deansgate, where the Hop Pole Inn...was frequented by 'the very lowest dregs of society'...The district between Oxford Road and London Road was little better...One man was seen entering the Lass o'Gowrie on Charles Street 'with nothing on but his shirt and shoes'. The observers noted that 'A fearful state of demoralization exists about this house'".

Friday Fun 6

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite enough,

Just remember...



And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cos there's bugger all down here on Earth!

Friday Fun 5

My sister-in-law Claire is back from a successful charity trek in China for Diabetes UK. She's exceeded her fund-raising target, but you can still donate if you haven't already. Just click on the donate link on the left.

Anyway, on to the video. Not as good as Jake Thackery's version, but Mr Carrot does a fine job.

Friday Fun 4

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

Worse things happen at sea you know...

Friday Fun 3

I thought all nuns left the seat up...

Friday Fun 2

Strangely enough, remembering "Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle" did not help me when I was in the exam at the end of my OU philosophy course.

American beer, it's like making love in a canoe*...



* That's a bit rich coming from the "Aussies"